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Happiness, Life,
Destiny
Are you happy? When
asked this question, do you stop to ask yourself, "What is happiness
anyway"? I wonder how many people even stop to clarify what
happiness means to them or what can be done to improve the present
level of happiness that exists in their lives.
Some people believe that happiness is something that is the result
of external factors in their lives such as success in their
profession, the accumulation of wealth, meeting the perfect mate or
creating the ideal family. Holding on to such a belief allows the
forces of our everyday lives to dictate our level of happiness.
According to this belief, one could wake up in a present state of
happiness feeling very satisfied and content with their world. As
they progressed through their day, however, they may lose this state
of happiness as they are faced with the struggles of their day to
day lives.
Such inconveniences as traffic, crying children, unexpected tasks at
work, rude interactions with others, miscommunications with their
spouse or children and the like, could send their happy state of
mind in an out of control downward spiral leaving them feeling sad,
frustrated, and dissatisfied with their lives. By allowing the
happenings of their daily lives to dictate their happiness level,
such people are at great risk of living lives that are unpredictable
and that are controlling them rather than them controlling their
lives. The long term result of such a belief system could be a state
of depression and pessimism in regard to the future.
In contrast, other people have a drastically different philosophy in
regard to happiness based on much of the research that has been done
on positive psychology. One of the leading psychologists in the
field of positive psychology, Martin E. P. Seligman, teaches that
one can cultivate and experience authentic happiness and become more
optimistic about the future.
Those individuals, who follow the teachings of Dr. Seligman and
other positive psychologists, recognize that life will endlessly
throw challenges in their path. But to the extent that we make the
daily choice to use our resilience and our core strengths to tackle
such challenges will determine our level of happiness. This type of
happiness is happiness from within because it is acquired by making
a daily choice to be happy rather than to allow external factors to
dictate ones level of happiness. Such people view the future with
optimistic hope and excitement as they create the life they want to
live.
So, what does it take to be happy from within? What can one do to
improve their perspective on how to achieve and create happiness in
their lives?
Here are some simple suggestions to improve your present level of
happiness based on the wisdom of some of the great pioneers in the
field of positive psychology:
1. Make happiness a habit: Happiness is a choice that needs
to be made every day, every hour, and every minute in fact. Those
individuals who are the most happy are so because they choose to be.
2. Cultivate mindfulness: In developing the capacity to be
fully present in each moment, one can live a life of greater depth
and meaning. By training oneself to be in the here and now, in the
present moment, we immediately enhance the quality and fullness of
life.
3. Direct your daily thoughts: Be aware of the thoughts that
you believe in as truths. In order to become aware of your thoughts,
begin by writing down your thoughts. Then read what you have written
and question whether or not these thoughts are helpful to you or
realistic. Are they truths based on facts or just your own beliefs?
After analyzing your thoughts, write down other possible truths that
could exist in relation to the belief that you presently have.
4. Live in a state of FLOW: "FLOW" is a theory that was
discovered by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi who is a pioneer in achieving
inner happiness. He suggests that flow is a state in which people
are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. To
achieve flow an activity must have the following components: the
activity must be challenging, it must be clear in how it will
progress meaning that the rules are simple, it must require all of
our concentration, and we must feel we are making progress and are
in control. Activities that promote a state of flow include those
activities that require discipline such as an art, a sport, or a
religion. They more flow activities that we incorporate into our
lives, the happier we will feel.
5. Practice forgiveness: Among all great religions taught
throughout the world, a common call to forgive one another exists.
Forgiveness leads to the path of inner happiness. Failing to forgive
someone takes from our heart by filling it with anger and hatred
every time we think of the person that we harbor negative feelings
towards. In genuinely forgiving another person for a wrong that they
have done, one will feel a huge healing to their heart almost as if
their capacity to love has increase because their heart has
literally grown in size!
6. Develop discipline: According to research conducted on
inner happiness, one of the essential factors in a person's
happiness is their level of self-discipline. By overindulging in
food, alcohol, sex, etc., a weakening in our mind, body and soul can
result. By practicing self discipline in our daily lives, we
strengthen our mind and self-image because we promote a feeling that
we are in control of our body. By using restraint, we achieve
stability which leads to contentment.
7. Be an optimist: Among the many findings of Martin
Seligman's pioneering work on positive psychology, is the highly
effective way to increase wellbeing by thinking in an optimistic
manner. Seligman has shown that optimistic people are more
successful at work, are healthier, have more friends, and experience
more enjoyment out of life. This is so because they perceive
problems as temporary and do not take them personally. Such
optimistic thinkers view the events that happen in their lives as
always having a positive side. They elect to believe that ones
ability to conquer hardship is determined by how one recovers from a
setback. They hold on to the belief that nothing can hold them down
permanently.
8. Simplify your life: Life in our modern society has become
overwhelmingly busy and complex. To restore a sense of balance to
our lives, one must try to do less, own less, worry less and push
ourselves less. To do this one can give away possessions that they
are not using, reduce the number of hours they work each day, chose
to see friends less so they spend more time with their family, and
take some time each day to just sitting and not doing anything but
be in the moment.
9. Exercise regularly: Daily exercise has been proven to have
a huge impact on how positive we feel about ourselves. This is so
due to the fact that giving our body a regular workout helps reduce
tension and stress. Exercise also changes our body's biochemistry
because during exercise we produce natural endorphins that make us
feel happier (also known as "the runner's high"). Regular exercise
also helps to reduce fat, improves muscle tone, clears the skin, and
promotes a general sense of strength. Such benefits experienced by
regular exercise have been shown to lead to significant increases in
self-esteem which is a mental state that is closely linked to inner
happiness.
10. Give love freely to others: Being told "I'm loved" ranked
in the top ten most pleasant activities by subjects in a resent
research study. Interestingly, this also works in reverse; wellbeing
researcher P.M. Lewinsohn and M. Graf have shown that expressing our
love for someone makes us feel good too. In addition, that feeling
tends to stay with us throughout the day.
These are a few first steps to incorporating choosing to be happy
from within into your daily lives. The decision to do so lies within
each one of us. Each of us has the power begin our personal journey
toward living life to the fullest each and every day! Why not begin
your journey today?
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